I cherish the memory of holding my oldest grandchild for the first time. Gazing into his sweet face twenty years ago, I vowed to be the best grandmother I could be.  After months of faithfully buying diapers on sale and delightfully babysitting, I wondered if I should do something more for this precious little boy.  

Most grandparents long to be good.  But if you study Scripture, you will see God has a deeper vision than   being “good”. Over the twenty years, my grandmother’s role has evolved as nine more grandchildren have filled my life.  In His graciousness, the Lord faithfully led me on a progressive journey of incrementally becoming the grandparent He designed. 

The Five Stages

My journey has taken me through five stages: 
    1.  Good grandparenting
    2.  Godly (Biblical) grandparenting
    3.  Courageous grandparenting
    4.  Intentional grandparenting
    5. Transformative grandparenting

Stages One and Two

The initial stage of the God-given task of being a GRANDmother was interpreted by me to be a “good” grandmother.  I embraced that stage with all of my heart. But soon I learned God had a second stage for grandparenting. His desire is for me to become Godly in my role as described in the Bible.  In Psalm 78:4 (NIV), I learn specific instructions from the psalmist: “We will not hide them from their children: we will tell the next generations the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.” Deuteronomy 4:9 (NIV) directs me to teach my children and their children, “Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise: His greatness no one can fathom. One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts.”  My highest calling as a grandparent is to point the hearts of my loved ones towards Jesus Christ such that the Holy Spirit woos each one to become a child of God. The ultimate goal is for all of my family to live together eternally in Heaven. 

The Third Stage

Cavon Harper identified for me the third stage of GRANDparenting, Courageous Grandparenting.  Based on his book of the same title,Cavin Harper points out that it is challenging today to be good, Godly and Biblical in this senior role. We live in a tumultuous world. Exhibiting these spiritual aspects of grandparenting takes courage because our western culture pushes us to the peripheral of life.  Sometimes our grown children make it difficult, if not impossible, to spiritually nurture our grandchildren. Often it takes courage every day to maintain our stand, walk the narrow path and live into this deep calling God has on our senior lives.

The Fourth Stage

My eyes were opened to the fourth stage of GRANDparenting through Sherry Schumann of CGN. To be all that God has called us to be to the next generations, we must become Intentional Grandparents.  If we don’t develop a strategy to pass faithfulness in Christ to the next generation, our legacy of faith will be diminished, maybe even demolished.  It is critical to set intentional goals. We need to be prayerful and thoughtful in making written plans to share our faith diligently to our loved ones.   A good coach enters a game with a deliberate and calculated agenda.  An intentional grandparent acts similarly.  Prepare in advance important conversations and experiences in order to ensure they will happen.

The Fifth Stage

The fifth stage of GRANDparenting, Transformative Grandparenting, I found to be the “grandest” of all!  Personally, I love to read (or tell) stories of faith, teach Biblical facts and share the Gospel with my family.  As a teacher, I thrive in these areas that reach the mind.  But it is the heart that connects a person with God forever. Transformative Grandparenting begins with the telling and sharing of God’s truth based on the Bible and personal experiences.  But this grandparent does not stop.  She continues.  She focuses on her grandchild’s heart as well as his mind.  She creates moments to pause and wonder together about the awesomeness of God.  This quiet time allows the grandchild to fall deeply in love with the Lord. When grandparents tarry with their loved ones in the presence of the Lord, these quiet moments give the Holy Spirit time in a busy world to move within the precious hearts of our families. These heart connecting moments that are led by the Spirit transform their lives forever.  As transformative grandparents, we are passing a legacy of heart-felt faith in Jesus Christ to the generations behind us.*

God’s GRAND Vision for You

Initially, I could not have embraced all five of these stages.  I would have been overwhelmed.  Instead, it has been a gradual growth process for me with each new stage building on the previous one. As I was led by the Holy Spirit through each stage, I became more of the grandparent God envisioned for me from the beginning.  

How is God molding you as a GRANDparent? We are told in Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) that God has a plan for each of us, “…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”   We can know that God has a GRAND vision for you.  May He lead you in His mighty ways bringing the love of God to each one of your family.  

*For practical information on being a “transformative grandparent”, go to kidzatheart.org/for-grandparents and kidzatheart.org/resources. Or contact cjacobs@kidzatheart.org.