Travis is a good friend and an avid, skilled fly-fisherman. I’m not much a fisherman myself, but I do enjoy an occasional trip to the mountains to try my hand at it. So Travis took me out one time to show me some of the basics of fly-fishing. I learned it’s a lot more than knowing how to cast your line. Travis taught me that if you don’t know the nature of the fish you are trying to catch, and their feeding habits, you won’t experience much success. That’s why he always stops by the local fly shop to find out what the fish are biting at the time. He knew the wrong fly would yield poor results.

It can be challenging for those of us who are grandparents to accurately understand the times in which we live, let alone know what to do about it. This is a pop culture that has built a value system and worldview that is dramatically different from the common worldview prevalent when you and I were growing up. How did we get to where we are so quickly and what do we need to know about today’s pop culture to help our grandchildren navigate it and boldly walk in the truth? How do we find out what the fish are biting?

First, let’s admit we may need some help trying to understand the times. Like Travis and the Fly Shop experts, we need to find help from those who know what’s really going on in pop culture.  People like David Eaton and Jeremiah Callihan at AXIS Ministries, Jeff Myers at Summit Ministries, and John Stonestreet at the Colson Center for Biblical Worldview are a few of the ‘fly-shop’ experts in this area. These men understand the pop culture in which our grandchildren live, and they understand the messages that culture promotes. They know how to communicates effectively with the younger generations, but they can help us understand it better as well. These are resources ministries that ought to be in our grandparenting toolboxes.

Secondly, intentional grandparents work hard to start relevant conversations with their adult children and grandchildren that will open up opportunities to really explore what is true and what is not. The ministries I mentioned earlier have some great resources to help us do that. For now, it is important to know how to build an environment of trust and safety where our grandchildren can ask the hard questions. They need to know that grandma and grandpa offer a safe, non-threatening environment to talk about anything.

Here are five things we can do to build that trusting, safe environment:

1. Spend time together when you can. Never underestimate the impact that just being together can have in a child’s life, especially when the time is free from other distractions like iPads, iPods, TV and video games. Don’t try to force a conversation they don’t want to have, but if you demonstrate a genuine interest in them and their world, it will probably happen naturally.
2. Make it your preferred practice to ask questions rather than ‘offer advice’. It is tempting to air opinions about a subject and become preachy. Your grandkids need to know that you care about the questions they have and why they think what they think. This isn’t about compromising truth or encouraging wrong thinking. It is choosing to speak out of a grace-filled heart. If you want to know what that looks like it, read Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman in John 4.
3. Set the standard for where the ultimate authority lies for all the important questions of life. You may want to ask something like this, “Do you think it would be important for us to know what God thinks about this issue? I certainly do, so I always turn to the Bible, God’s Word, to see what God might actually say about it.”
4. Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know, but I’ll try to find an answer for you,” if a tough question comes up in your conversation that you really aren’t sure how to answer.
5. Protect younger children by keeping conversations age-appropriate.

You can be a powerful influence in the way your grandchildren think and question the answers they hear in today’s world. You don’t have to be an expert on pop culture, but you do need to seek out the ‘fly-shop’ wisdom of those who are.

GRANDPAUSE: Is it wise to leave massive questions about life, death, and eternity hanging in the air?
-John Blanchard