I have to admit to you that I am in a time of my life when grandparenting doesn’t feel so grand. Not exactly what you might expect from the director of the Christian Grandparenting Network is it? Still, some of you know that feeling as well. It might be in the form of a deep pain that comes from not being able to see or communicate with your grandchildren. Or perhaps you have been thrust into the challenging role of raising your grandchildren because of terrible things outside your control. Millions of you live with the daily reality of long distance relationships with your grandchildren. You know the ache of not being able to watch your grandchildren grow up around you. You miss out on those special life-building times together settling instead for the occasional, and sometimes rare, visit with your grandchildren. These are a few of the not-so-grand realities of grandparenting.

There is another not-so-grand reality of grandparenting that is my reality right now.

It is the indescribable pain of watching a teenage grandchild rebel, walk away from the truth, and embrace a path of destruction. If you are in this situation, you know the torment of feeling helpless to do anything other than pray. I have experienced a range of emotions from anger to deep sorrow to shame. I am angry that poor parenting decisions have contributed to this problem. I am angry at myself for not spending more one-on-one time with my grandson the last few years. I am angry at society for the destructive, evil lies it has embraced that destroy young lives.

Mostly, though, I struggle with my own worth and competence. More than once I have asked the Lord why I should be leading a ministry among grandparents when I’m facing so many challenges in my own family right now. How can I encourage grandparents in similar situations when I don’t even know what to do in my own family?

It is in this pit of pain and soul-searching questions that I have discovered five things I believe God wants me to think on and hold on to. Perhaps you will find encouragement in these as well:

1. God is sovereign. He is in control. I must and can trust Him.

2. God choses the weak to display His power and glory. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).

3. God’s pursuit of His lost ‘little ones’ is both fervent and unceasing. Therefore do not give up or lose heart.

4. This isn’t about me, except to be obedient in what He asks of me. It’s really about making God look great (for He already is) and seeking the best for my grandson and his parents.

5. God has graciously placed wise, godly friends in my life who continually encourage, pray, support and exhort. That helps keep me focused on what is true and to not give up.

So what have you learned through your own painful experiences with a rebellious teenage grandchild? I’d like to hear from you and learn from your own experiences. Perhaps others would too.