Many grandparents today are quietly carrying a burden they never expected: a grandchild who once seemed strong in their faith but now wants nothing to do with it. The language has changed, the values have shifted, and the relationship feels delicate. It’s not just disbelief; it’s sometimes anger toward the Church, suspicion toward Christianity, and a hostility that can make a grandparent feel like they’re walking on eggshells.

That experience is far more common than most people realize. The spiritual drift we’re seeing in younger generations is not primarily a rebellion against tradition but the result of growing up in a profoundly post-Christian culture. The world your grandchildren live in tells them that truth is personal, identity is self-constructed, and institutions — including the Church — cannot be trusted. Under the surface of this cultural shift is a generation that is anxious, lonely, and searching for meaning without knowing where to look.

In the middle of that moment, grandparents matter more than ever.

A Grandparent’s Calling: Presence, Pursuit, and Patience

When a grandchild deconstructs their faith or walks away from the Lord, most grandparents instinctively feel a mix of grief, fear, helplessness, and urgency. It’s tempting to try to fix it quickly or debate them back into belief. But effective spiritual engagement rarely begins with arguments. It begins with relational presence.

If you are a grandparent whose adult son or daughter has walked away from the Lord — or whose grandchild is deconstructing their faith — the best thing you can do is become a consistent, loving presence in their life. Pursue them. Meet them on their turf. Let them know that even though you may not agree with their choices or beliefs, you love them and nothing will change that. The story of a prodigal is not only about a child returning — it’s also about a father who never closed the door.

This posture is slow, intentional, and often quiet. It looks like text messages that don’t have an agenda. Lunches that focus on listening. Birthdays remembered. Questions asked with genuine curiosity. It’s love without strings attached. And while it leaves room for truth, it doesn’t rush to force it.

Then pray and never give up. Their story is not over yet. Pray that God will bring other people and circumstances into their life that will soften their heart and reawaken their curiosity about Jesus. Be patient but always ready to respond when the Holy Spirit presents an opportunity for a spiritual conversation.

More Than a Debate: The Spiritual Battle for Sight

It’s important to remember that reaching a prodigal grandchild is not primarily an intellectual project. Yes, their worldview matters. Yes, cultural ideas matter. But Scripture reminds us there is a deeper reality: “The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 4:4, NIV).

If the core issue is spiritual blindness, then persuasion alone is not enough. Apologetics can be helpful, and good arguments have their place, but no amount of logic can make a blind person see a wall. Only the Holy Spirit can open spiritual eyes. That truth should not discourage you — it should free you. The pressure to “win” is not on you. Your role is not to manufacture faith but to faithfully sow seeds.

That means prayer is not the last resort. It is the strategy.

As you pray for your grandchild, ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and discernment: What lie are they believing? What wound are they carrying? What idol are they clinging to? What fear is shaping them? Only the Spirit can reveal the real issue beneath the surface of their disbelief.

Winning Hearts, Not Arguments

When opportunities do come — and they often come quietly — aim first at the heart, not the argument. When we engage with younger generations on issues like politics, sexuality, or science, it’s easy to make secondary things primary. But these are downstream issues, and expecting transformation before conversion is like expecting fruit before roots.

Picture a double-sided funnel with Jesus at the center. On one side are the obstacles that keep someone from seeing Him clearly: misconceptions, hurts, idols, or intellectual barriers. On the other side are the issues that belong further into discipleship: moral behavior, worldview alignment, political ideology and secondary theological doctrines. If we focus on the second side before the first, we put the cart before the horse and risk closing the very door we’re praying will open.

So ask questions. Listen well. Be curious without defensiveness. Demonstrate humility and compassion. The goal is not to win an argument in the moment but to win access to the heart over time.

Don’t Give Up — God Isn’t Finished Yet

Prodigals rarely return overnight. Their journey often involves setbacks, unexpected encounters, and moments of suffering that soften the heart. In many stories, grandparents are not the ones who “close the deal” — they are the ones who kept the light on.

One of the most important ways you can pray for a grandchild who has walked away is to ask God to bring the right people into their life. Pray that peers they respect, mentors they trust, and believers they’ll actually listen to will cross their path and reintroduce them to Jesus in a way they can hear.

This is happening all over the world. Steiger is raising up young missional leaders who are intentionally entering secular spaces — concerts, universities, subcultures, and online communities — to share Jesus with people just like your grandkids. Through our 1,000 Burning Arrows Initiative, we are equipping and sending a new generation of evangelistic leaders to fuel a grassroots movement reaching young people who would never walk into a church on their own.

Grandparents pray. God pursues. Others enter the story. And over time, the Spirit draws people home.

You Are Not Alone in This

If you’re trying to better understand how to engage the secular or deconstructed young people in your life — whether grandchildren, neighbors, students, or the people in your church — the Not Beyond Reach book and small group resources were created to equip everyday believers to share Jesus with the young, the deconstructed, and the non-religious with clarity and compassion.

Resources & small groups:https://www.notbeyondreach.com/But one of the most important things to know is that you do not have to walk this journey alone. There is a growing Not Beyond Reach Community made up of parents, grandparents, pastors, and believers who are praying for prodigals, learning from one another, and telling stories of hope. It’s a place for encouragement, equipping, and intercession — a place to breathe again.
Join the community:https://www.steiger.org/special-resources/nbr-community