Speaking with grandparents around the country, I witness a pervasive restlessness because many of us feel disconnected from our grandchildren. Our chance at leaving a legacy seems to be slipping away. Even more frightening is the bone-chilling idea that those grandkids we love so much may not be joining us in heaven someday.

We have so much wisdom to share. Through decades of victories and losses, God has taught us much that we desperately want to pass on. What’s more, we are at a loss for personal peace because of this disconnect.

The solution might be found in the specific instruction given by Paul in Philippians 4:9 (NIV), “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Reading this instruction you may think, That’s easier said than done. I feel like I am barely involved in the lives of my children or grandchildren. At best, I’m an outside observer.

I understand. Part of the challenge is the inevitable busyness of young families today. Even if you live in close proximity, grandparents are more likely to be fans than mentors. You may regularly enjoy applauding your grandkids at recitals, sporting events, and such. But that can’t be counted as interaction. Before or after those events, there’s rarely time to slow down and engage and share what’s really important.

As a grandparent, you find yourself in a ringside seat watching as your own children—the parents of your grandkids— frantically, lovingly, and sometimes methodically devote themselves to surviving the here and now. 

Their single-minded focus is no surprise. Parenting—as you well know—can be a nonstop battle of just trying to get through today and then crashing into bed with just enough energy to ask yourself, What’s the schedule tomorrow? 

For young parents, that is probably where their focus should be. But that begs the question, What should you be focusing on? 

Certainly, you might prudently come alongside those new or struggling parents with encouragement, small gestures, well-timed visits, labors of love, gentle insights, and an occasional financial investment. 

But the primary answer to that question helps define what could possibly be your greatest role as a grandparent. While mom and dad think short term, grandma and grandpa have the luxury of thinking long term. That’s the key to building your legacy and orchestrating opportunities to share spiritual truth. 

A proven strategy for keeping the big picture in focus is remembering, keeping, and documenting family traditions. Perhaps more than anything else, your family traditions are a valuable tool for keeping generations connected and lines of communication open. 

Some traditions happen naturally. Many are rediscovered when a family welcomes a new baby. For example, a multigenerational baby shower. A decades-old baby blanket being passed down. A nursery rhyme or song remembered from decades ago. A christening or baptism. Sharing those memories becomes a natural time to pause and reflect on what your family values. 

As your grandkids grow, expect dozens of traditions to come to mind and they are often enormously important to kids—especially teenagers. Examples include going to the same lake every summer. Family talent shows. Touch football on Thanksgiving. Taco Tuesdays. Pizza Fridays. Stargazing on a clear night. Gifting silver dollars on special occasions. Stopping for ice cream during bike rides. Sitting in the same pew at church. Visiting the zoo every summer. Toasting with hot chocolate every New Year’s Eve. Stopping by Nana’s gravestone on her birthday. Making s’mores in the fireplace. 

For spiritually-minded grandparents, most of these traditions may not seem to be biblically based or gospel-centric. But they should be! And that’s the point.

Jesus is in each of those moments. Not just a welcome guest, He is the reason we go to the lake, play football, hike in the woods, point out the Big Dipper, pick flowers, visit the zoo, and visit cemeteries. Grandparents can point out that God is in all these places and in all we do. With gentle words of praise and gratitude. With favorite memorized scripture.

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24 ESV) 

“And Jesus said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.“ (Mark 1:17 ESV) 

“Give us this day our daily bread.” (Matthew 6:11 ESV)

“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.“ (Psalm 19:1 ESV)  

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.” (Isaiah 40:8 ESV) 

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4 ESV)

Taking advantage of traditions to slow down and engage your grandchildren will provide opportunities to let them know we can’t put Jesus in a box. The goal shouldn’t be to somehow coerce your grandchild to accept Him once and acknowledge Him on most Sundays. More than that, the goal is to help your grandchildren see Jesus as the living God with whom we are in constant connection. At the lake, looking at the night sky, taking a walk, at meals, and visiting tombstones. Traditions are when and how you can confirm Matthew 28:20 ESV, “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Take this idea to heart and a year from now, you will look back and see how embracing traditions opened the door to conversations that provide much-needed wisdom to future generations and peace to your own heart.

What’s more, those traditions will very well continue year after year, generation after generation, long after you are reaping your own final reward.  

(excerpted in part from the book, Hooray for Grandparents! © 2022 by Jay Payleitner, Chronicle Publishing).