God planned for husbands and wives to marry for life and to raise their children in a loving environment of discipline and training in the faith, extending to the second and third generations. Great plan, except that loving the ones nearest and dearest to us is mostly a lot of hard work. The only chance we have for carrying out God’s command to love one another is by bending our will to live according to his will. We don’t always know what that’s supposed to look like on a day-to-day basis. And, being sinners ourselves, we don’t always feel like doing what we should when it’s inconvenient or challenging. Sometimes we just need to buckle up and follow the instructions God gave us in his Word.

Pray For Your Loved Ones

“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8).

True, we love our spouses who captured our hearts, and we love our children through every stage of their development from birth to adulthood. Without a doubt, we love our grandchildren in a way that cannot be described to anyone who hasn’t yet been blessed with their own. Get in the habit of praying for them daily if you don’t already do so. If you are unsure how to begin, try using Scripture cards, such as the ones available at Christian Grandparenting Network under Free Resources. You’ll find Scripture verses to cover every member of your family.

I’ve often heard people say something like, “Nothing else worked, so I’m going to pray about it.” I say, “Make prayer your first recourse rather than the last.” It’s hard to be angry with someone when you’re earnestly praying for them. Plus, praying for your loved ones sets your thought process on track with God’s plan.

Keep Things In Perspective

“Put on then… compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another… as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:12-14).

Our first call is to love our spouses. You know, the ones who captured our hearts and said “I do” to the love and cherish prompt. Guess what: we all come with imperfections. I’ve heard a number of widows say they would gladly accept their husband’s quirky habits if they could have them back. Don’t miss the opportunity. Cherishing your spouse not only enhances your relationship, it demonstrates to your children and grandchildren how God wants husbands and wives to care for one another.

The same thinking applies to our relationships with other members of our family. Grandparents know kids don’t stay little for long. As cute and cuddly as newborns are, they come fully equipped with the sin nature we all inherited from Adam. That first uttered “No” gets older each time we hear it. And, by the time they reach their teens… enough said. 

This is the nitty-gritty part of loving someone well. The challenge is in demonstrating our love with someone who trumps through the house with muddy shoes right after we finished cleaning or there’s a pile of dirty dishes waiting for you in the sink at the end of a long day – again.

Speak Encouraging Words

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4). 

The old adage to “bite your tongue” comes to mind. It can sometimes be hard to avoid criticizing your children or grandchildren, even after decades of experiencing its negative effects. The most likely outcome you’ll receive for it is less time with them, less involvement in their lives. Try a different approach; try catching family members doing things well.

Instead of fighting against the bumpy road of children’s growing independence, why not concentrate on celebrating their achievements? Let phrases such as “good job” or “you’re great at that” fill their memories of you. 

In all honesty, I have never met anyone who does not respond well to being honored for doing something worthwhile, as long as the accolade is real, and even if it prompts the recipient to blush. The concept is biblical. We find in Romans 12:9-10 that our love should be genuine, good, and filled with brotherly affection. This kind of love binds us together as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Look To the Future

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11).

We do not know what the future holds for us or our loved ones. But we know the One who does. Put your hope in the Lord, trusting the Creator to bring his plans for us to fruition. That includes eternity. I encourage you to start the journey today, or to continue on the path with your eye on the ultimate prize of living together with the family of Christ in the Kingdom of God.

Note: All Scripture references are English Standard Version (ESV).