As our family bears the recent loss of a husband, father of 9, father-in-law to 7, and grandfather to 16 (with #17 coming this fall), we struggle with the huge hole left behind. His sudden, unexpected heart attack left us reeling and wondering how God would care for our family in the absence of such a strong, loving, godly, servant leader. One of our daughters, a nurse, shared a description of what had occurred in his body along with an application to our family life.

Workings of a Human Heart

When he was in the critical care unit, the doctors described the total blockage of a major artery in his heart. They told us they knew it had been there awhile because there was “collateral blood flow.” Tiny vessels had grown over time from the major vessel to try to take on the role of the larger vessel in order to sustain the heart. Alone, in the presence of a great vessel, they hadn’t done much for blood flow because they weren’t as needed. But when faced with a complete blockage and total loss of the great vessel, the collateral vessels stretched and formed “smaller versions” to work in combination to continue the much-needed blood flow that keeps the heart alive. It didn’t happen immediately as it required time and forced necessity. It is not ideal because there is “never enough” flow, not an adequate substitute for that great vessel. However, it is enough to maintain basic functioning until more healing occurs.

Workings of a Father’s Heart

Our daughter describes her father as the great vessel that fed our family’s heart, that fed my heart as a husband and best friend. Our children are like those collateral vessels; they grew from him and his example. When he was no longer here to meet the needs, his children were forced to stretch and grow together to become a shadow of a substitute that helps keep the family going. They may be “smaller”, but they are determined to fight for the survival of his legacy. They had the gift of originating and learning from his great example. (She added that her dad would have inserted here that God is the greatest vessel and he was just a “collateral vessel” himself!)

A father’s guidance, love, discipline, and protection help shape who their children (and grandchildren) become. He shows his children what it means to walk in faith with the Lord Jesus Christ. How did he prepare these “smaller vessels” to take the responsibility of spreading godly values, wisdom, and support when he was no longer able? He fulfilled Isaiah 38:19 (NASB), “The living…praise [the Lord]…, the fathers tell their children about [God’s] faithfulness.” He was an example of Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NASB) as he first loved God with all his heart, soul, and strength; he then talked about God’s Word when “sitting at home, walking along the road, lying down, and getting up.” He could say, as Paul did in Philippians 4:9 [NIV]: “Whatever you’ve learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice.” 

Our children are each contributing what our daughter described as “little dad lights” shining through them — pieces of his faith, values, and wisdom that will create a foundation for generations to come. God wrote in Psalm 102:18 (NASB) that one of the purposes for His written Word is “for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord.”

The Psalmist’s prayer in Psalm 144:12 [NIV] asks, “May our sons in their youth be like plants full-grown, our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace.” My updated version would be, “May our sons, daughters, and grandchildren be like collateral blood vessels that create a living foundation of faith for generations to come, a legacy of faith that continues into the future.”