Several of you shared comments about my previous posts on Preparing Your Teenage Grandchildren for Success. Thank you for the comments, and for reminding me that what I am sharing for teens ought to be intentional practices for younger grandchildren too. Without question, if we start early, it will be a lot easier when they are older. At the same time, for you who have teenage grandchildren and you did not do these things when they were younger, it is never too late to begin doing what we can to help our teenage grandchildren walk in the truth.

This is my last post on this subject. As we wrap up this subject matter, there are two more things I want to challenge you to intentionally practice with all your grandchildren regardless of age. These last two practices are vitally important for their success as adults. If your teenage grandchildren have never had anyone work with them in these areas, I urge you to find a way to do so. Don’t wait any longer.

Before discussing these two things, here’s a quick reminder of the first three:

1. Help build a strong work ethic by challenging them to higher expectations.

2. Expose them to things that will help them discover potential skill areas they may not realize they have.

3.  Help your teen grandchildren vanquish a sense of entitlement.

Now let’s zero in on #4 and #5 intentional practices the can help your teenage (and younger) grandchildren succeed:

4. Teach your teen grandchildren to think critically

Paul wrote that true Christ-folowers ought “not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will” (Rom. 12:2).

We live in a time when we are continually fed lies and bad information through the media and the internet. This never-ending barrage of information and opinions rarely fosters critical thinking or questioning. The great curse of our modern age may be the curse of unquestioned answers.

Help your grandchildren navigate this confusing world by working to understand the times and accumulating to help them test whether the messages being propagated are true and actually conform to God’s will. You can encourage this kind of critical thinking by using these best practices:

1. 1. Listen well!
   2. Avoid judgmental criticism.
   3. Ask good, thoughtful questions: “Have you thought about…?”, “Why do you think…?”, “What are the consequences of…?”, “How does this effect…?”
   4. Reward careful, honest thinking with appropriate praise and gratitude.
   5. Admit you are wrong when you are wrong.

5. Celebrate your teenage grandchild’s passage into adulthood.

Do you remember that African proverb I shared in Part 1? “The village that fails to initiate its boys into manhood, will see those same boys burn down the village just to feel the heat.” I believe this proverb is not just for boys. We dare not assume that either gender will figure out what it means to be a mature, responsible adult on their own. It is our job to teach them and model for them what that looks like.

Once more the Apostle Paul says it well: “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me” (I Cor. 13:11). When does that transition happen, and how do we help children make that transition and put childish ways behind them (many older adults still haven’t figured it out)? Here are a few ideas I hope will be helpful. Even if there has been little or no intentional prior preparation, now is the time to start before it is too late.

1. Read good books about rites of passage and passages into adulthood that are available today. Here are a few of my recommendations:
   1. Men of Honor/Women of Virtue by Dr. Chuck Stecker
   2. Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis
   3. Boyhood and Beyond by Bob Schultz
   4. Empower Your Kids to be Adults by Dr. Donald Joy
2. Talk to your church leadership about creating a class for parents and grandparents on this topic. Ask them about looking into hosting a rite of passage seminar with Dr. Chuck Stecker at A Chosen Generation.
3. Plan a special event or weekend get-away with your teen grandchildren individually. Use the time to explore and dialogue what adult character qualities God wants to develop in us so we can move towards full maturity in Christ.
4. Create a Passage to Adulthood album. Ask family members, pastoral staff, close friends and teachers to write personal notes or cards to your teen sharing thoughts about adulthood they want to pass on. Collect and build an album with these notes, photos, mementos along with your thoughts about what God says about adulthood, and how you will journey with them to help them succeed as adults.

Obviously, we don’t want to wait till our grandchildren are teens to begin implementing these practices in their lives. Start when they are young. Ask your adult children how you can come alongside and help them in these areas. If you’ve missed the opportunity with your grandchildren when they were young, start today where they are.

May the Lord bless you and grant you wisdom and prosper the works of your hands as a conduit of God’s grace and truth for the next generations.

I’d love to hear from you about how you are implementing these practices in your families.