GrandPause:

Faith and works are like the light and heat of a candle; they cannot be separated.
Author Unknown

I am absolutely convinced that no matter how a good a job parents or grandparents do, there are still no guarantees our children and grandchildren will walk in the way of truth and faith in Christ. On the other hand, I am equally convinced that when we intentionally create a positive environment in which they are being prepared for adulthood, and they have seen genuine faith at work in us, well… let’s just say I’d rather have those odds. If we don’t do it, then we leave them to figure it out on their own… or learn from someone else. Which is the greater risk?

As I discussed last week, a good parent-grandparent partnership is a powerful tool for building that strong family environment where a child learns what it means to be an adult who walks in the truth. But what if that partnership is not possible. What if it just isn’t working like you would have hoped?

In spite of difficult situations, there are still two other powerful ‘means’ grandparents can employ to help their grandchildren mature into responsible adults who walk in God’s truth.

MEANS #2: Intentional Living-Modeling Christlikeness

Craig Glass, president of Peregrine Ministries, made this important statement in one of his blog posts: I’m convinced that the life-testimony of godly grandparents is one of the most powerful influences in the choices the third generation makes. Godly grandparents pass on a message to grandchildren that parents can’t: This faith is not just what Mom and Dad think and want to convince me of, it is a part of the heritage I’ve received and the legacy I can pass on to the next generation. (Link to original post)

I agree with my friend, Craig. I just chatted with a friend today who told of the powerful impact her grandmother had in her life—an impact that exceeded anything her parents were able to provide. These influences occur because of intentionality. When grandparents choose to make their lives a reflection the greatness and grace of God, they become conduits of God’s transforming grace even in the most difficult of circumstances. Even so, we must acknowledge that there are no guarantees. Still, there are fewer possibilities if we don’t live intentionally.

What does intentional living look like? I’d like to suggest at least two specific ways grandparents could live intentionally:

1. Pray intentionally: We assign each of our children and grandchildren a particular day of the week when we commit to pray for them specifically. Use this as an opportunity to discuss their needs and any issues they are facing, then pray for those specific needs. We also use the 31 Scriptures to Pray for Your Grandchildren cards developed by Lillian Penner, our National Prayer Coordinator. It outlines a specific scriptural characteristic to pray each day of the month. You can download a free copy of this prayer card on our web site (LINK)

2. Serve intentionally: Let your grandchildren see you doing things that model Christlikeness by spending yourself for others. Here are some examples: helping a neighbor; speaking respectfully about people and political issues with which you do not agree; praying for a waiter or waitress; honoring your spouse; giving to the poor; forgiving those who hurt you or asking for forgiveness when you have wronged another.

Living intentionally also involves including your grandchildren in things that will allow them to learn to live intentionally as well. Here are some examples of ways you can involve them: participate in a short term missions trip together; serve in a food kitchen together; collect clothing and food for the poor; let them help with projects around the house that teach them the value of hard work; have them help bake cookies and deliver them to a new neighbor or a neighbor who is ill; take them to GrandCamp.

If you’re a long distance grandparent, you will have to be creative. You can still text them, call them, and send them notes by mail that express things you want them to know and make part of their lives. Communicate to them what day you have especially set aside as their day when you pray for them. Maybe you could call them on that day as well and pray with them about a specific need. When they do visit, or you visit them, plan some projects you can do together.

No matter what the situation with your adult children, you have the means to make a major impact in the lives of the third generation of your family. It’s up to you.

COMMENTS

Share with our readers some of things you are doing to living intentionally as a grandparent whether you have a great relationship with your adult children or not.