I’ve heard too many tragic stories of grandparents being shut off from their grandchildren by one or both of the children’s parents. Some might have been prevented, but many are simply outside the grandparents’ control. When that happens, the tragedy is that, like divorce, the children pay the heaviest price.

That’s why grandparenting is about much more than just the grandchildren. While every family situation is different, one thing remains certain. Effective grandparenting demands that we also maintain, as much as is our ability to do so, a strong, healthy relationship with our grandchildren’s parents. Often we have no control over the triggers that lead to withdrawal or hostility from the parents. In such cases, we must do all that is in our power to treat them with respect and kindness, for it is more than our relationship with our adult children that is at stake.

When it does go bad, we must not give up hope. It is tempting to lash out and grow angry or bitter. But it is not the time to lash out; it is the time to go to our knees. In the most trying of times we must renew our confidence in the one who is still on the throne and who has the power to turn evil into something good. Pray for your grandchildren and pray for their parents always.

If you have a positive relationship with your adult children and spouse, keep on praying for them as well, and do everything in your power to help your adult children succeed as parents. As Lillian Penner says in her new book, Grandparenting With A Purpose, “In today’s broken world, Satan’s purpose is to destroy the family. It is important that we pray God will give our children wisdom and time management in their monumental task of guiding our grandchildren in the ways of the Lord.” Our prayers will help them fulfill that task.

If you thought grandparenting was all about the grandkids, think again…and pray.

GRANDPAUSE: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:29