Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. –James 1:4
I learned a new word this past week from my Finnish friends, Glenn and Sandra Havumaki. The word is “sisu”. This uniquely Finnish word is difficult to translate with one or two English words. The closest we may have to it is when we say a person has “guts” or “moxie”. These are close, but don’t say everything sisu means. (Hebrew has a similar word, “chutzpah”)
It was exciting to watch the US Air Force Thunderbirds perform in Colorado Springs for the Air Force Academy Graduation Ceremony this week. Watching these pilots fly those powerful planes at high speeds in tight formations and do all the aerial acrobatics they do is spell-bounding.
You may remember the incident in 2016, after completing their show, when one of the planes developed a throttle problem making it impossible for the pilot to reach the airport landing strip. The pilot, Maj. Alex Turner, managed to navigate the plane into a clearing away from nearby homes, before gliding it into a low altitude trajectory and ejecting at the last moment. The plane skidded to halt with minimal damage for a crash situation, and the pilot parachuted to safety unharmed.
That required sisu. All these pilots have sisu. Their training, preparation, and flying time prove it. They are conditioned to make the most of a difficult situation without panic or giving up.
So, what does this have to do with grandparenting? We talk a lot about being courageous grandparents as a central focus of our ministry at Christian Grandparenting Network. Why?… because it takes very little courage to simply be a ‘good’ grandparent who enjoys their grandkids and plans good times with them. While enjoying them is important, courageous grandparents know about a higher calling of spending themselves so another generation will know, love and serve Christ with their whole being. It takes courage (sisu) to stand in the gap and matter in more ways than simply enjoying them.
Grandparents who have sisu, are in a better position to teach and model for their grandchildren what sisu looks like and why it is important. This is a time when each succeeding generation seems more thin-skinned than the previous generation. Mental and emotional toughness is rapidly disappearing, and with it, endurance and resilience. Many in our culture are too easily offended and quick to blame their problems on everyone else, except themselves. Sisu is not only a foreign word, it is foreign attitude and character quality.
So, what do grandparents who have sisu look like? Here are a few examples. Sisu grandparents…
- Press into the responsibilities of helping their adult children with a child born with a severe handicap. They are not afraid of the challenge or deterred by it.
- Consider it joy to be thrust into second parent roles in which they must raise their own grandchildren, even though it can feel overwhelmingly impossible at times. They have the grit to persevere and not be ashamed of asking for help.
- Understand the challenges of long-distance grandparenting. They seek out and embrace the opportunities to stay connected, and matter in those grandchildren’s lives.
- Are not threatened or paralyzed by the hard realities of being given limited or no access to their own grandchildren. Instead, they pursue paths of reconciliation and hope through humility, patience, forgiveness and blessing.
- Are not crushed by the tragic and often unexpected loss of a child or grandchild. Their grief and sorrow are real and intense, but they choose to enter into that sorrow and find hope in the One who is the source of all hope.
- Intentionally tell their story in the context of God’s Big Story so their grandchildren will know that being strong and courageous (having sisu) is not just about mental fortitude and individual determination, but faith placed in the One who has promised He will never leave us or forsake us—the same Lord who said, “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world.”
Write to me and share some of your thoughts about being a grandparent with sisu.
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