A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.   Prov. 18:24

Friends are important, but choosing the right friends is critically important. Some people want friends so badly that they will gravitate to anyone who takes an interest in them without considering the consequences. We can’t imagine anyone giving someone a venomous snake for a pet and telling that person it is a puppy. But that is precisely the kind of ‘friends’ some people choose. Such a person is no true friend, even though he may deceive us into thinking otherwise.

Young people who feel unloved or unimportant are vulnerable to such destructive ‘friendships’ that will bring no good into their lives. There is a saying: “A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart.” A powerful statement, yet it can have a dark side as well. Someone touching your heart is a good thing if they have your best interests in mind rather their own. Hands washed in wrongful or self-focused motives too easily touch hurting hearts with such damaging force that the resulting brokenness is nearly irreparable.

It is no secret that young people tend to run in packs because of a deep desire to belong. This practice can be potentially dangerous and destructive, especially if there is not a stable, loving home environment where they find value, love and blessing. Grandparents can come alongside parents and provide a powerful influence in their grandchildren’s lives in the arena of friendships. Encourage them to find a true friend who will stick ‘closer than a brother’—one who will keep their best interests in mind over a personal agenda. Such a friend is indeed a treasure of immeasurable worth.

Here are a few specific steps grandparents can take to help your grandchildren seek and develop healthy friendships:

• Do a Bible study on friendship with your grandchildren. Look at the friendships of David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, Paul and Barnabas as good examples. David’s relationship with Saul is a good example of fair-weather friends, and can be a good tool for understanding the nature of true friendship.
• Watch the movie, The Secret Garden, with your grandchildren (or better yet, read the book), then talk about it. It is a powerful story of friendship.
• Write letters to each of your grandchildren and share with them stories that build character. Make one of your letters a story of friendship that you learned in your life.

Friendship, like effective grandparenting, demands intentionality. Your life and your home are the classroom in which they will learn about those things that really matter…or they will not. Which will it be? It’s your choice.

GRANDPAUSE: “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.” – Unknown