VALENTINE’S DAY: Its History and Legend

Despite the frigid temperatures, February warms our hearts with love and romance. Children decorate shoe boxes with tissue paper and candied hearts in hopes of receiving a message from their secret admirer. Women dream about suitors presenting them with diamond rings, while married couples, smiling to one another, reminisce about their early days of courtship. What is it about February that makes it different from the rest? Valentine’s Day, of course!

Our Gregorian calendar designates February 14th as a special day to celebrate and express love for one another. The history and legends surrounding this day trace back to Ancient Rome. One well-known and widely accepted legend tells of a priest named Valentine who lived in the 3rd century AD during the reign of Emperor Claudius. According to the legend, Claudius believed that single men made better soldiers than married men, so he forbade young men from marrying. When he discovered that Valentine was secretly performing marriage ceremonies, he imprisoned the priest and sentenced him to death.

Tradition holds that, while awaiting execution, Valentine spent time studying Scripture with the jailor’s blind daughter. Through their time together, she accepted Christ and ultimately regained her sight, and Valentine fell in love with her. Before his execution on February 14th, he sent her a note confessing his love, signed, “From Your Valentine.”

The first person to mention Valentine’s Day in a formal writing was Britain’s acclaimed poet of the 14th Century, Geoffrey Chaucer.

The oldest Valentine in existence today was a poem written in 1415 AD. It is housed in the British Library in London, England. According to the History Channel, this poem was written by Charles, Duke of Orleans, after he was captured at the Battle of Agincourt and imprisoned in the Tower of London. Tragically, Charles was kept in the tower for twenty-five years. He and his wife were never reunited before she died. *

Our time-honored tradition of exchanging small gifts and cards of appreciation dates back to the 19th century, during the Victorian era. I often wonder if Queen Victoria and her subjects would be surprised to learn that Valentine’s Day has grown into a $27 billion industry.

Espressions of Love on Valentine’s Day

For those of you who want to express your love for your grandchildren on Valentine’s Day without breaking the proverbial bank, may I suggest the following:

• Consider your grandchildren’s ages, how many you have, their proximity to you, and the amount of money, if any, you intend to spend. Don’t get caught in the comparison trap. The purpose of Valentine’s Day isn’t about expensive jewelry or giant boxes of chocolate truffles; it’s about being intentional and saying, “You are important in my life, and I love you.” 

• Remember that what may seem unimportant to you can hold great significance for your grandchildren. For instance, our grandchildren, whether they live just around the corner or on the other side of the United States, enjoy receiving cards through the mail. Make sure to personalize the card by including a handwritten note of encouragement,  prayer, verse of Scripture, or a blessing to remind them that they are loved and remembered by you and by God.

• Think outside the box by looking for unique, inexpensive gift ideas that are sure to create special memories for you and your grandchildren. One idea is to purchase a personalized deck of cards for each of your grandchildren, monogrammed or with a special design. Celebrate Valentine’s Day by hosting a game night at your home. Depending on the age of your grandchildren, you may want to play Crazy Eights, Go Fish, Spoons, Trash, or Hearts. 

• Give an experience, such as getting together at your house one afternoon to bake heart-shaped cookies and decorate them with pink icing and sprinkles, visiting a local bakery for a heart-shaped treat, or hosting a family pizza party.
  If you have long-distance grandchildren, you can have a virtual pizza party by having a pizza delivered to your grandchildren at precisely the same time a pizza is delivered to your home. As soon as the pizzas are delivered, call your grandchildren or or FaceTime with them. After all, using an element of surprise can be fun! I discovered the idea of a virtual pizza party in the book, Discipling Your Grandchildren.
• Be sure to respect your grandchildren’s parents by asking them before you put plans in place. After all, you don’t want to show up for a surprise visit and have a pizza delivered when they are out-of-town or gone for the evening.

As we search for the perfect way to express our love this February, may we always remember the words Christ spoke to his disciples at the Last Supper: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” (John 13:34, NIV). Legends aside, Christ’s commandment is the true origin of Valentine’s Day. It serves as an excellent starting point for us to reflect prayerfully on how to remind our grandchildren that they are cherished and loved—not just on February 14th, but every day of the year.

*(Valentine’s Day 2023: Origins, Background & Traditions | HISTORY)