It’s the time of year when college-aged grandchildren are shopping for dorm room or apartment supplies as they prepare to begin a new adventure away from the home in which they grew up. No longer “children” but not yet independent adults. Grandparents must adjust their methods of connection with those I lovingly refer to as “chronological adults.” 

1 – Stay Informed. 

As your grandchild heads off into the collegiate or trade school world, you can take time to learn about their destination. Peruse the institution’s website, find out about available activities, read up on sports teams, look at photos of the campus, or – if nearby – possibly even visit in person. 

2 – Communicate.

Ask your grandchild about their interests, class choices, major, schedule, or extracurricular activities. Have them tell you about their living space, whether dorm or apartment, and their roommate(s). Show genuine interest, but don’t be intrusive, overwhelming them with interrogation, or grill them like a detective! Respect their privacy. Keep telephone calls brief. Throughout the year, send them short texts or emails to let them know they are on your mind and in your prayers. Ask for their actual address and mail a note or card, especially on special occasions or holidays. Perhaps share a special Bible verse. Even though their generation primarily uses social media and electronic communication, “real” letters are usually very special. (Think how much you would appreciate having a note in your grandparent’s handwriting!) A good reminder is to keep messages short, positive, and encouraging.

3 – Care Packages.

Although postage rates are higher than we would like, sending an actual “goodie box” is a special way to show your love. (Their roommates will be jealous so, if food is involved, send extra so your grandchild can share.) I’ve mailed homemade cookies and other durable snacks, or gathered together a variety of treats (granola bars, fruit strips, gum, mints, individual bags of chips, hot chocolate packets, etc.) to mail in a care package during exam weeks. One important lesson I learned: tell them when to expect anything you mail through the post office so they check their mailbox. (I learned this the hard way when I received a half-dozen cards marked “return to sender” at the end of the school year because they were never picked up from my grandson’s campus mail slot!)

4 – Show Grace.

Young people this age are very busy and may not have a lot of free time to reply to their grandparents’ communications. Don’t take it personally or be hurt by a lack of response. Don’t insist on a reply every time or use guilt or pressure. Avoid criticism or lectures when interacting with them. Allow them freedom by including NRN, i.e., “no reply necessary” on your correspondence.

5 – Pray.

Pray for your grandchild regularly. If you have a special day of the week when you include them in your prayer routine, let them know and ask for any specific needs or requests. This is a crucial time for many of our grandchildren when important life decisions are being made with regard to friendships, career choice, life partner, and spiritual path. Just as Luke 2:52 (NASB) describes Jesus as “increasing in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men,” pray that God will guide your grandchild’s physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual growth. [Note: there are aids to praying for grandchildren available on Christian Grandparenting’s website.]

6 – Trust God.

Psalm 119:73a (NIV) tells us, “Your hands have made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn Your commands.” The Lord is the One who created your grandchildren in their mothers’ wombs and who gave them their individual personalities, strengths, abilities, and gifts. He is the One who can give them understanding of His plan for their lives. We can trust that the Lord will care for them as they are in this “launching phase” of life. Hold tightly to the understanding that He loves them far more than we do!

Prayer:

Lord, thank you for the privilege of grandparenting these young people. May I be a blessing and encouragement to them as I seek practical ways to express my love for them. Thank you for Your loving watchcare over them as they spread their wings into a new phase of their lives. May they learn to walk each step with You as their Lord and Savior. Amen.