I have only met one grandparent who told me he had no desire to stay connected with his grandchildren. With that attitude, I suspect his grandchildren felt the same about him. Fortunately, most grandparents really do want to connect with their grandchildren. They want to do it often and they want to do it well.

Our digital world presents both opportunities and dangers for helping us stay connected. Sadly, our grandchildren are growing up in a world in which screen time is more important than actual face-to-face time. Consider some of these new realities in our digital world today:

• A large percentage of teens today say they’d rather text than talk.
• Many young people have indicated they would rather Instagram about strawberry crepes with whipped cream and chocolate sauce than actually taste it and experience it.
• Teens walking to and from school tend to move slowly and, often, alone glued to their smartphone screens
• More and more people are glued to their device screens in public areas like airport waiting areas, restaurants, shopping malls, and even school classrooms.

The street next to our house is a school bus stop. I often walk my dogs at about the same time the neighborhood students are gathering at the school bus stop. I have observed that none of them talk to each other while waiting for the bus, and most never hear me say “Good morning.” They are glued to their smartphone screens with earbuds stuck in their ears.

And it’s not just teens and young adults.

Many parents (and shall is say, grandparents) are so engrossed with their smartphone, table or computer screens that many kids complain they never get their parents’ attention. It feels like they’re not there, they say.

C.S. Lewis’ said of the human race, “we are too easily pleased.” Perhaps never has that been more true than in this digital world of texting and social media where screen time overrides face time.

I believe our grandkids want to connect with us—and their parents. They want to know we care about them and their friends. So, what can we do as grandparents to counter this screen trap and help them discover the beauty of living well together in truly connected relationships?

Last week I shared some insights from Kathy Koch, author of Screens and Teens: Connecting with our Kids in a Wireless World. Here are a few practical suggestions I’ve gleaned from her book to help all of us develop and cultivate good, easygoing conversational skills.

1. Learn how to start meaningful conversations. Assure your grandchildren (teens especially) that wrestling with truth is a good thing. Communication Cure has a valuable tool to help in this area. 
2. Learn to ask questions rather than make statements. However, interrogations are not the same as conversations. Questions can’t be accusations hiding behind question marks. Pay attention to and provide helpful feedback about eye contact, facial expressions, and body language so it matches your words and theirs.
3. Be alert to teachable moments. Choose your times and places wisely. Build special ‘connecting zones’ (dinner table, car, bedrooms, family room, etc.). Create time and space for talking together. Just remember God gave us two ears and one mouth, so talk, listen, listen, listen, talk.
4. Connect to meet deep needs, not just lecture about your pet peeves. Modeling and conversations rich with truth, not opinion, will help kids learn to think critically about technology and life. Teach, explain, be open to their ideas, and answer their questions because you value them and want them to know the truth.
5. Focus on what’s right, not just what’s wrong, and learn with them. Be diligent in guiding and leading, complimenting and correcting, listening and watching with a heart to understand.

Sometimes we’re afraid of talking because it might spoil things. We need to talk—men, that means you too. It’s not only a matter of turning away from our devices, but learning how to wisely connect with them, with each other, with ourselves… and with God.

When your grandkids know you care, they will care about what you say. Starting meaningful and trusting conversations requires intentionality and perseverance. Don’t give up.

GRANDPAUSE: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Eph. 4:29)