DECISIONS

Trey is flunking almost all of his classes and will likely not graduate from high school this year. It’s interesting to hear his excuses: my teachers didn’t tell me what I needed to do to get my grades up to where I could graduate; I turned in most of my homework assignments—it’s not my fault they don’t have them; The school doesn’t take into account all the other things I have to do at school. How am I supposed to keep up with it all?

Trey has decided he is a victim. He is guided by his circumstances and there is nothing he can do about. His decision to be the victim, not the victor, will lead to a pre-determined destination, and it won’t be a good one. That brings us to our final D in this series on successful grandparenting.

#3: It Comes Down to DECISIONS

Grandparents have the same decisions to make that a teenager does. One grandmother I know told her daughter-in-law that if she wasn’t allowed to give junk food to her grandkids and let them stay up late at night (things Mom and Dad had asked her not to do), her grandkids would not like her, and therefore, would not want to come visit.  “It’s what grandmothers do,” she told her daughter-in-law. “They know they can do things at grandma’s they can’t do at home. That’s why they like coming here.”

This young mother wisely told her mother-in-law, “Mom, we want them to like you too, but you’re wrong in assuming that how much they like you is based upon how much junk food you feed them or how late they are allowed to stay up. If what they eat and what time they go to bed is all there is to measure your worth to them, then something is terribly wrong. These have nothing to do with whether or not they like you.”

Sound familiar? I can’t begin to tell you how many grandparents have bought into the lie that this grandmother believed to be true. Such faulty thinking leads to bad decision-making.

Everyday decisions we make about the kind of stuff we buy them, the junk we give them, the conversations we have with them, and the values we model for them are path decisions. Does having a good time with our grandkids take us off track? No, unless that is all we care about, or we are trying to buy our way into a child’s heart. However, every decision we make is a decision to take a certain direction, and that direction leads to a pre-determined destination.

The three D’s to successful grandparenting can be summed up in one word—intentionality. Successful grandparents know what destination they want to help their grandchildren reach as adults, and they are intentional about their involvement in helping them arrive at that destination.

How do I stay on the path that leads to that desired destination? It all comes down to daily DECISIONS. The daily decisions about how I treat others, how I view my circumstances, or how I accept responsibility for my life. Here are three things you might want to consider when it comes to making good decisions:

1. Choose to invest the assets God has given you (time, skills, knowledge, finances, life experiences, wisdom, etc.) according to HIS purposes. Instead of spending them on yourself, spend yourself by investing them in others.
2. Choose to be a victor, not a victim. When something bad happens, don’t look for someone else or circumstances to blame. Accept personal responsibility to make the most of it and turn it into something good. Paul reminds us that “in all things God works for the good of those who love, who have been called according to His purpose,” and that “we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” (Rom. 8:28, 37).
3. Choose to give thanks to God in all things and rejoice in His goodness and grace. “Rejoice in the Lord always; always give thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Phi. 4:4; Eph. 5:20).

As a grandparent, I can set the example for my children and grandchildren about the decisions of life that determine what path they will walk and the final destination they will achieve. You can help them understand how DECISIONS determine DIRECTION which determine DESTINATION.

These three D’s determine my path as well. They are about the legacy I leave. I want to know the legacy I leave is actually worth outliving me. How about you?

GrandPause:In God’s will there is no failure; out of His will there is no success. -Anonymous