Last week I looked at qualities of a matriarch who we might not always associate with a typical concept of a matriarch. Contrary to a typical image of a strong, outgoing personality, I used my aunt as an example. She was a very quiet person, yet resolute and strong in character; diminutive, yet powerfully influential. A worthy matriarch possesses qualities that compel, not coerce, younger generations to follow her example regardless of personality type.

But what about the patriarch? What kind of person dignifies the position of patriarch in the family—a worthy patriarch? Let me share my experience with one such patriarch that may help answer that question.

Robert was one of the most extraordinary men I have ever met. A father of five with a quiver full of grandchildren and great grandchildren, he was venerated by his family who describe him as a man who loved Christ deeply and whose life reflected the greatness and glory of Christ in all he did. Interestingly, though not surprisingly, his passion for Christ and the Gospel translated into an audacious passion for his family as well.

Some people considered Robert a workaholic, but his family didn’t. They saw him as a passionate man who gave himself lovingly and selflessly to both his family and his calling. If you were to ask any of his children, grandchildren or great grandchildren who one of their biggest heroes is, they would without hesitation say, “Poppy”! They knew him to be the ‘patriarch’ of the family, not because he exercised control and dominated them, but because he loved them and served them and affirmed their value as God’s children. When he spoke, they listened and knew he spoke with the wisdom of God.

All the years that I knew Robert, there was never any doubt in my mind of his patriarch status. It was earned, not by manipulation or tyranny, but through personal sacrifice, constant expressions of encouragement and blessing, and making the most of whatever time he had with his family. There was no doubt about their being valued and loved by him.

He was also a man of prayer, praying not only for his family, but also with them. He was known for stopping what he was doing to pray with them individually for something going on in their life, or just to pray because he wanted them to know how much God cared for them.

Robert was a patriarch who cared enough to build a legacy that mattered for eternity for generations to come. It is a reminder to all of us who are grandfathers that being a patriarch is much more than merely being the oldest male in the family. May God grant us the wisdom to understand what makes a worthy patriarch, and the courage to live it.

Who do you know who is or was a living example of a true patriarch that turned the hearts and eyes of the family toward his example?

GRANDPAUSE: When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. – C.S.Lewis