When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (I Cor. 13:11)
What do you believe about adolescence? Do you know where this idea originated? How has it impacted society and the church?
Prior to the 20th century there was no stage in life known as adolescence. Children became adults often through some kind of rite of passage, whether formal or informal. The idea of adolescence was a foreign concept, but it is now one that engulfs our society.
Modern psychology actually developed the notion of adolescence in the early 20th century when Dr. G. Stanley Hall presented a paper in which he suggested that there was a transitional stage (roughly ages 13-18) between childhood and adulthood that was distinct from either of these two stages of life. This third stage was adolescence, which literally means “growing up”.
The thesis was that a person in this stage could not be forced to think or act like an adult yet. They were still growing up physically and emotionally, and parents need to accept that there is nothing they can do to alter their child’s development in this stage. We just have to wait it out and hope for the best.
Eventually the idea of adolescence became the norm as it infiltrated our educational system, our legal system, our church and para-church programs, and our families. Now psychiatrists and psychologist tells us that adolescence has extended to age 30 with significant consequences to society. John Stonestreet, with the Colson Center for Christian Worldview, describes this phenomenon of not leaving adolescence until a later age as the Peter Pan Syndrome in which exists a tragic failure to launch children into adulthood.
Unfortunately, not only is society trapped in this prison of adolescence, but American Christianity is as well. According to Thomas Bergler, author of The Juvenilization of American Christianity, we have a widespread spiritual immaturity in our land popularized by “a feel-good faith with neither intergenerational community nor theological literacy.” Bergler argues that entitlement, consumerism and emotionalism, all characteristics of adolescence, now have American Christians imprisoned in this spiritual adolescence.
So, how do we as grandparents address this problem in a positive and productive way to help our children and grandchildren transition to adulthood and full maturity? I’d like to offer three suggestions that may help:
1. Create a safe environment that invites asking hard questions about life. I know some grandparents who regularly ask their grandchildren to ask them questions about things they don’t feel safe asking anywhere else. This creates a haven of trust and the opportunity to talk about serving, giving, sacrifice and responsibility without ‘preaching’.
2. Write down your own personal experiences and thoughts about what it means to be a true man or woman. Your can do this by creating a personal written legacy journal or by recording your thoughts on video or audio. I encourage you to read Christian authors who have done their homework in this area. I’ve created my recommended list below.
3. Sit down with your adult children and ask them how you could support them and come alongside them to help transition their children from childhood to adulthood effectively. Suggest working together to develop and implement a rite of passage tradition in your family.
It’s time to expose the lie about adolescence and free our young people and families from this destructive prison cell. That could mean that you need to consider whether you are stuck in this prison as well. To effectively disciple and mentor your grandchildren to full maturity in Christ, you may need to do some serious soul-searching. Do you approach church and your faith with a sense of entitlement (God or the church owe me), a consumer mindset (what’s in it for me?), or an emotional perspective (how I feel is more important than how I live or think)? If so, you are living in a spiritual adolescence prison yourself. Jesus promised the truth will set you free.
I pray that you will know that freedom so you can open the prison gates for your grandchildren to grow to full maturity in Christ according to God’s design.
GRANDPAUSE: Self-serving needs are not meant to be satisfied; they are meant to be put to death. -Edward T. Welch
RECOMMENDED READING LIST:
1. Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis
2. Men of Honor/Women of Virtue by Dr. Chuck Stecker
3. Boyhood and Beyond by Bob Schultz
4. The Juvenilization of American Christianity by Thomas Bergler
5. The Masculine Journey by Robert Hicks (Available on Amazon)
6. The Feminine Journey by Cynthia and Robert Hicks (Available on Amazon)
0 Comments