“Would your Nana answer my God questions?” This was the question one little girl asked her friend who had told her about how wise her grandmother was. That friend happened to be the granddaughter of Jill Briscoe. Have you ever thought about whether the friends of your grandchildren would ask something like that about you?

At a recent Q&A session with Stuart and Jill Briscoe and their son, Pete, Jill shared the story about a young woman struggling with some serious life issues with whom she had agreed to meet to talk about them. After a period of time together, she received a note from this young woman. It said simply, “Because you listened to me, I knew you loved me; and because I knew you loved me, I wanted to listen to you.” Jill calls this the “ministry of presence.”

The reality is that an entire generation of children, youth and young adults are hungry for older people, like grandparents, who they can trust to help them process the tough life questions. Sadly, many of them don’t know where to find someone willing to listen to their questions and not judge them, including their own grandparents.

So, what is this “ministry of presence” Jill Briscoe talks about? She describes it very clearly as an intentional choice to be there for someone in need. Beyond being available, a ministry of presence involves three important qualities:

1. Listening: Your grandchildren are not necessarily looking for someone to give them advice and tell them what to do. Their parents already offer plenty of that. They simply want someone who will listen. Listening is hard work, but it can be fruitful work.

2. Caring: Good listening requires genuine caring. It’s the kind of caring that sends the message, “You have my undivided attention. I am not staring at you with glazed eyes or yawns as you talk to me. Other things do not distract me from focusing on you. You have my undivided attention because I care about you.”

3. Tears: This is another expression of genuine caring—the ability to empathize and cry with those who are hurting. It is much easier to judge or point out flaws than it is to weep with those who are broken.

In the final analysis, would your grandchildren come to you with their life questions because they know you love them? Would they say to their friends, “Nana (or Papa) will answer your questions too?” If not, ask the Lord to show you what needs to change for that to happen. There’s a lot at stake if you don’t.

GRANDPAUSE: God does not love us because we are valuable; we are valuable because God loves us. (Attributed to Martin Luther)