“He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way.” (Ps. 25:9)

It’s a dangerous trap for older adults, including grandparents, to think they know better than the younger generations, especially when it comes to raising children. After all, you have been around the block a few times, and that ought to be worth something, right? Actually, it’s not worth anything when you assert your “wisdom” in a prideful I-know-what-I’m-talking-about manner.

You may be able to verbalize what humility is according to Philippians 2:3—looking after the interests of others above your own. You know that humility is a posture that sees others as better than yourself. But do you apply it to your own adult children?

Does it mean that you should consider your children’s parenting skills as better than your own? Perhaps, but at the very least you ought to consider that God has just as adequately equipped them, as He did you, to be successful parents for this time. You can either help or hinder the relationship by your attitude and comments. Humility unclogs the pipe so that grace can flow through you.

Humble grandparents recognize their limited humanness. They are compelled to bow before the almighty, omniscient Father who sees all things as they really are and rest in Him who knows better anyway. Acknowledging your own limitations also frees you to admit your own mistakes, including those as a parent, and lay down your mantel of authority long enough to empty yourself of pride as you walk through the raging waters of confession to ask for forgiveness.

Humility pursues peace and reconciliation. When you are willing to admit that you may not have all the answers, nor do you always see things as clearly as you might think, reconciliation has a chance. When you respect the boundaries established by your adult children even when it doesn’t feel right (as long is there is no imminent danger or injury involved), reconciliation is possible. The humility key cannot be ignored if you want to open up the door of possibility for a positive and healthy relationship with your adult children—or any other relationship.

GRANDPAUSE: What practical experiences in humility have you learned and how has it affected your relationship with your adult children?