While most of us understand the dilemma of deciding which set of parents we will be spending time with at Christmas each year, imagine the struggle that millions of children and young adults will face this year who are the children of our no-fault divorce generation, assuming they even have a relationship with one of their parents.

We have long endured the lies of “experts” that divorce really has little long term impact on the feelings of rejection and emotional scars for children of divorce. Now we know the truth.

Yet, though divorce rates have slightly decreased recently, the church has been largely impotent to stem the tide of rampant divorce even among its own. While divorce recovery classes and workshops abound, minimal effort is given to teaching and equipping our young people for life-long commitments in marriage. We seem unable to identify the issues and wounds that the children of divorce face, and to help them find healing and hope.

If you have ever played a card game involving the use of a “trump” card or suit, you know the frustration of playing what you think is a winning hand only to have it trumped by someone else. Now is the time for Christians to play our “trump card” — our belief in an all powerful and loving God.

Kristine Steakley recently wrote Child of Divorce, Child of God, a book that will be a wonderful resource to help families with divorced children understand that our destiny is not dependent upon our resilience, but upon a foundational understanding of who God really is.

As grandparents, we know all about the ravages of divorce, even as Christians. If you are living with the reality of divorce in your family, this is a place where “intentionality” is crucial. We are in a unique position to help our grandchildren of divorce find healing and hope. But it means we must build a solid framework of truth about the God who IS, and that He really does care about the burdens and wounds they bear.

I urge you to pick up a copy of Steakley’s book and re-examine your own view of the God. Be ready to lead your grandchildren into an amazing and authentic understanding of who God really is, and that He really wants to “reparent” us to repair our brokenness and restore relationships.

The legacy of divorce does not have end in defeat. It’s time to trump the play and restore the legacy that God intended we should leave for future generations. This Christmas give a gift of hope. Worship Him who is Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Prince of Peace, and EVERLASTING FATHER.