Enjoy these touching grandparenting stories.

storiesOur four children, their spouses and our ten grandchildren are literally spread around the world.  One son and family live and work in Muscat, Oman; another son and family teach in Quito Ecuador; one daughter and her family are in California and our other daughter lives close to us in Cheyenne, WY.  

With an earnest desire to encourage our children and ten grandchildren to stay connected to each other as well as to challenge them to grow in their faith we decided to buy devotional books.  Five alike for the younger grandchildren and five identical ones for the older grandchildren.  We wrote messages in each encouraging them to not only stay connected by reading the same devotional and scripture reference each day, but to also e-mail each other with thoughts and comments about what they had read.  

I am not sure they all read their books from January 1 to December 31; but I know that a grandson in California wanted to know if there was a ‘sequel’ to his devotional book because he liked it so much.  Whether they all read faithfully or not we felt this was a very tangible way for us to transmit our value of reading God’s Word daily as well as staying connected with other family members even if we are separated by many miles and on different continents.  

– Ila McIlvain

In the early 1970’s I lived with my husband, Bill, and four children in Kabul Afghanistan where Bill and I taught at the American International School.  We learned to know and to love many of the Afghan people and have maintained contact with a few through the years.  

A few months ago Stacie Teele, one of the students I taught in 8th grade back in the 70’s, returned to Kabul to produce a documentary film on life then and now.  In the course of her work she became involved with what’s called a Mobile Mini Circus for Children.  The children who attend MMCC come from poor families who cannot afford the tuition charged at the government schools.  In addition to teaching the basics they focus on practical aspects of life such as how to avoid land mines, personal cleanliness and combating malaria.  Another primary goal of the school is to perform: skits, juggling, singing, riding a unicycle, etc.  The children then take their program to school children all over Afghanistan to help them laugh again — after years of war, poverty and drought these children have known little laughter.  

Through Stacie, we found out that the directors of MMCC like to give the children lunch and do so if there is enough money to buy food.  And here’s where the grandparenting idea blossomed.  We found out that they could buy enough food for their 70 students for ten dollars.  We have ten grandchildren and there are ten adults in our family.  So I wrote to each family and challenged the parents to encourage the children to work and earn ten dollars each; and with the adults contributing we were able to send funds so the children at MMCC could be assured to lunch for an entire month.  

Without exception the grandchildren were excited to be a part of helping other less fortunate children half way around the world – a real demonstration of God’s love in their lives.  

– Bill and Ila McIlvain, Cheyenne, Wyoming

Our granddaughter Abby always keeps us on our toes.  One day she was talking with her mom about God and asked about going to heaven.  Her mom shared with her that one day would come and bring those who love Him to be with Him in heaven.  She thought for a moment and then replied, “God won’t have to get daddy, cause daddy already flies in the sky!” Her daddy is a F-16 pilot.  

Just recently we were visiting with Abigail on the phone, and Papa just asked lightly “What are you doing, Abby?” Her quick reply was “Papa…, talking to you!” Dah!!

I’ve had the wonderful joy of leading several parenting classes through the years.  One of the hardest struggles my young parents have is getting their parents to support them in the principles they are learning and trying to implement with their children.  It seems the ‘older generation’ doesn’t understand the principle that in God’s eyes we are all equal in value as His children, but NOT equal in authority and roles.  God has given parents the authority over children, and the same is true for the grandparent, not because we are better or of greater worth but because time and experience makes us unequal in roles.  

It is so important to teach our children respect for others, and especially respect for the older persons – so it does everyone well to have them use titles when addressing older people.  Mr and Mrs., or if a close family friend Aunt or Uncle, gives the child understanding that they are over them in some role and not to be considered just a peer.  So when parents ask their children to call you by Mr.  or Mrs., please don’t reply that they don’t have to and ask them to use your first name.  It’s God-honoring to have children use proper titles.  

– Steve and Melody Blakemore, Casper, Wyoming

It was 11 years ago that our daughter (the youngest of our two children) moved to England to marry her British fiancée.  Though they both insisted they didn’t want children, about a year later I received a telephone call from my excited son-in-law, Russell.  It was official; I was going to be a grandma! We were thrilled! Right away we started praying regularly for our unborn grandbaby.  I also started sewing maternity clothes and nursery bedding, buying fun little baby things, and making plans to go to England.  Underneath the outward excitement, however, was an ever-present concern; how often would we be able to see our grandchild, what kind of meaningful relationship could we have living nearly 5,000 miles apart, would the child remember us from visit to visit or would we be as strangers, if I let myself bond with the baby, surely it would be excruciating to part after a short visit, etc., etc.  

Since my daughter, Debbi, was born nearly 2 weeks early, she assumed her baby would come early as well.  So we agreed that I should arrive a few days before the due date, which I did.  We waited, played games, waited, went shopping, waited, finished decorating the nursery, and waited! Nearly 2 weeks later, on the morning of the day she was to be induced, she went into labor on her own.  I waited at their home for news of the baby’s arrival.  They say no news is good news, but not in this case.  I think I must have watched every video they had and eaten everything I could find in the kitchen trying to bide my time.  Russell’s parents had each called during the day to find out if I’d heard anything, what was taking so long, was childbirth different in America than in England? Finally that evening, the phone rang and it was Debbi.  In a very weak voice she told me she was holding her daughter, Sophia Elizabeth! It had been a very difficult delivery requiring Debbi to have surgery afterwards and remain in the hospital for a few days.  Russell took me to visit the next day and of course, it was love at first sight! But, Sophie was only 10 days old when I had to return home.  It was a long, sad trip back, but the 3 of us all agreed, it had been such a nice visit and what a special time to have shared.  

Sophie was just turning two years old when her baby sister, Hannah, was born.  This time Debbi wanted me to stay for an entire month, which of course, I gladly did.  I had never been away from home and my husband for that long.  So, I found that one good thing about staying so long was that it was a little easier to leave them because I was actually anxious to get home.  I must admit that most of my early on concerns never materialized.  The first few years we were able to see each other at least twice a year and sometimes three.  Even when the girls were very young, there didn’t seem to be an adjustment period of more than a few minutes when we would visit.  Debbi did a good job of talking about us and having our pictures around.  Plus, we always take lots of video of our visits then send them a copy to watch over and over! But, I also wanted there to be special things we did together on our visits.  Things that they would look forward to from visit to visit and that they’d look back on with happy memories.  The first such “tradition” I came up with, I implemented when Sophie was 2 (when I was there for Hannah’s birth).  I brought along a package of chocolate chip cookie mix.  Sophie was thrilled to stand on a chair and help make cookies, though all we did was add an egg, oil and stir.  The most exciting part was eating the cookie dough! She wasn’t even that excited about eating them once they were baked, but she sure was pleased to tell her daddy that she had made cookies! This has remained very high on the “must do” list for our visits, ever since! On that same visit, we also started the tradition of taking the bus downtown, going to McDonalds for lunch, then “being a little bit naughty” and getting a sweetie at one of the shops.  

While I can’t say we don’t wish they lived closer, there are advantages to being long distance grandparents.  Visits are very special occasions and I don’t know who gets more excited, my husband and I or the girls! When there is an impending visit, the girls will either mark off the days on a calendar or make a paper chain and tear one off each day.  We talk on the phone quizzing each other about “how many more days” and discussing the fun and silly things we will do when we see each other.  When we arrive, they have made pictures for us and have “welcome” signs hung to greet us.  We usually have a big duffel bag full of fun things for them that we have collected since our last visit; things like videos, books, puzzles, food items that they can’t get in England, often matching outfits that I have made, or what ever they are interested in at the particular age they’re at.  I gift wrap some things and let them each open one every day or so, rather than get everything all at once.  

In the first few years I sometimes went to visit by myself.  However, these days Sophie and Hannah are very much “Grandpa’s girls” so, I wouldn’t dream of going without him! They spend hours “being silly” with Grandpa and I love watching it! We also spend a lot of time playing games together or just cuddling up on the couch and watching a video.  When the girls come here to visit, as a special treat we let them sleep in our bed with us.  Of course that arrangement gets more “cozy” as the years go by!

Fortunately we have a special international phone rate (a real blessing) so we can talk regularly.  We never cease to be thrilled when one of the girls calls to tell us of a major event in her life… going potty in the toilet for the first time, losing a tooth, getting a hair cut or just to say ‘ello! I also make it a point to send them each (separately) a card or note in the mail from time to time.  They love getting their own mail!

Even though we don’t see our girls as often as we’d like, the one thing we can do whether we’re together or 5,000 miles apart is pray for them.  Every night my husband and I pray that the Lord will keep them safe from evil and from harm, that He would raise them up to be godly people, that we’d be able to be a positive, godly influence in their lives, etc., etc.  Sometimes we even pray for their future husbands.  We haven’t been able to get together as often the last couple of years, but I’m so thankful we’ve been able to keep a close relationship.  I think perhaps being a long distance grandparent takes an extra emotional toll, but how can I complain? We already have the greatest blessing; that is that their parents know the Lord and are teaching the girls to walk in His ways, as well.  In fact, both Sophie and Hannah already have a personal relationship with their Lord and Savior and I’d certainly rather have them living 5,000 miles away walking with Him, than around the corner not knowing Him!

– Bruce and Sally Bausch, Colorado Springs, CO