It is possible to be intentional about many good things. Some grandparents, for example, are very intentional about loving their grandchildren and helping them be successful. Many are intentional about making sure their grandkids always have a good time at their house. Some grandparents are very intentional about trying to win their grandkids’ approval and attention (not necessarily a good thing). I could go on and on.

Most of these things have value and may be good things if not motivated by self-serving intentions. Good grandparents want their relationships with their grandchildren, and adult children, to be good. But is there an intentionality that goes much deeper than simply being liked? Do you believe there is more to being a biblical grandparent than having a good time with your grandkids or teaching them some basic facts about life?

I believe we, as godly grandparents, have the potential to powerfully influence the spiritual direction of our grandchildren—to show them Christ, who is the way, the truth and the life. That’s what really matters for today and eternity. Someone will teach and influence our grandchildren. Do we really want the internet or celebrities doing that? Why should it not be us—why could it not be you?

Chapters 4, 6 and 11from the book of Deuteronomy are all part of Moses’ final sermon to the Hebrews as they enter the Promised Land. These passages offer some very valuable insights about both why and how intentionality matters. In light of these passages, I want to suggest three keys to being a biblically intentional grandparent—one that can impact a life for Christ.

Key #1: Prayer

Over and over Moses commands the people to watch themselves closely, to “seek the Lord”, “bow down to Him”, “know Him”, “love Him”, “worship Him”. At the core of all these statements and commands is the assumption that the people must submit themselves before God. Prayer is a powerful vehicle through which we submit our agenda’s to His. Paul tells us to “pray continually” (I Thess. 5:17). His prayer for the Church was that “out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith” (Eph. 3: 16-7).  So, let’s consider what that looks like:

• Pray regularly and frequently for your grandchildren and their parents that Christ will dwell in their hearts through faith;
• Pray specifically and persistently. Lillian Penner, our prayer Director, has created some prayer cards to help you pray specifically. Click here for more information.
• Pray not only for them, but with them and over them. Tell them you are praying for them. When they are with you or when you talk on the phone, ask if you can pray for them.

Key #2: Presence

Moses made it clear that we are to teach and impress God’s truth on our children and our grandchildren. There is an expectation that we will be doing these things because we are present in their lives. Your presence in the lives of your grandchildren is vital. Even if you are long distance, there are ways to be present in their lives. Here are a few suggestions:

• Make the effort to be physically present as much as you can. If you aren’t close by, explore ways to have them for some extended time at your house. Take them to GrandCamp, or do your own.
• If you live close by, be intentional about attending their special events and school activities, graduations and birthdays.
• Communicate often and creatively. In this digital world, distance is no excuse.Tools like Skype and Facetime allow you to connect visually. Send photos and even use snail mail to send cards and notes. Make meal times at your house an important event around the table where it is safe to talk about life and what’s going on in the world.
• Listen well—learn to ask good questions that express your sincere desire to know what they think and what is going on in their world. Resist the temptation to preach!

Key #3: Practice

Of each of these three keys, this one may be most critical for it determines the impact the first two keys will make on a life. Moses repeatedly reminded the people to put into practice God’s commands—that which set them apart from the rest of the world. Not only did he command them to teach these things, but to live them. “Tie them as symbols on your hands [what you do] and bind them on your foreheads [how you think]. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates” [how you live at home and in the community] (Deuteronomy 6:8). They were warned of the consequences of not serving God alone, but following after the gods of the cultures around them. Moses used the word observe frequently. It means put into practice. Here’s some idea of what that might look like:

• Model integrity—see that your walk matches your talk. The way you live should make much of Christ so that your family sees how great and good He is. Biblical virtues and the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, humility, patience, kindness, etc.) ought to characterize your words and your walk.
• Courageously speak the truth, but do so with compassion and kindness. Christians ought not be harsh and mean spirited in conversations with others. Your grandkids will not want to hear what you have to say if you speak harshly and unkindly.
• Live beyond yourself. Model what it means to do good and serve others for their benefit. Spend yourself on others, rather than spending on yourself.
• Practice the spoken blessing often. Be a conduit of God’s blessing and grace, rather than a grumpy old curmudgeon. Click here for a free download for using the spoken blessing.

Do you want to intentionally impact your grandchildren for Christ so they will walk in the truth? Then let the light of your holy example be the primary argument for doing so.

GRANDPAUSE: If you have not chosen the Kingdom of God first, it will in the end make no difference what you have chosen instead. –William Law