Long Distance Grandparenting – No Excuses

We had just moved into our brand-new home in South Florida. The boxes were empty, and the pictures were hung, a sign that we were finally unpacked and settled. We had discovered our favorite restaurants, chosen new doctors, made new friends, and learned our way around. The hard work of moving was behind us, and we were happy. The only thing missing was family.

When our twin grandsons turned one, we happily drove 500 miles to the Florida Panhandle to see them and be there for their special day. On the day of the party, one of the birthday boys was unhappy. He clutched our daughter’s leg as she desperately tried to get everything ready. I tried to help by offering my arms, but he quickly turned away. Understandable, since he didn’t really know me. We had only seen them a few times. But that didn’t ease the ache in my “grandma” heart. I wanted a relationship with them, and I knew it was impossible while we lived so far away. We drove home the next day and put our house on the market. We now interact with them daily, and even though we still have no pictures on our walls, we have zero regrets about packing those boxes all over again.

Long-distance grandparenting is common today, but distance shouldn’t mean disengagement. Long-distance discipleship is challenging, but it’s not impossible and should be prioritized. It’s easy to let the physical miles turn you into a passive bystander who only gets a “highlight reel” of your grandchild’s life. Connecting with your grandchildren across states, countries, or time zones requires a deliberate strategy. Technology makes it possible to maintain your relationship.

Move closer to your family if you can, but no matter what, don’t let physical miles or digital fatigue turn you into a detached bystander. Don’t adopt an “out of sight, out of mind” mentality. Some long-distance grandparents have stronger relationships with their grandchildren than those who live nearby.

Perhaps your children and grandchildren live in another town, state, or even another country. Maybe your adult children had to relocate for employment, more affordable housing, better schools, or medical facilities. Or maybe it was you who had to relocate. But guess what? You’re not off the hook. There are so many creative ways to reach out to your grandchildren and share the love of Christ with them. 

It would be wonderful if all grandparents lived near their grandchildren and had easy access to them, but in today’s world, that is rarely the case. Don’t let distance keep you from being involved in your grandchildren’s lives. Long-distance relationships are now more possible than ever before. There are so many creative ways to reach out to your grandchildren and share the love of Christ with them. Don’t let the distance between you and your grandchildren become an excuse. Take advantage of this opportunity to connect with your grandchildren by finding ways to bridge the digital gap. 

1. Pray for them every day. Ask your grandchildren for prayer requests and let them know you are praying for them. Pray with them whenever they come to your home. Start early and be consistent so they won’t feel uncomfortable as they get older.
2. Call them on the phone regularly. If you can, call each grandchild separately so they get your special attention. Keep a notebook and write down what you hear them say so you can follow up the next time you call. 
3. Put the Grandkids on Your Calendar. Create a calendar with your grandchildren in mind. When can you visit them? When can they visit you? What about phone or video calls? Will you do these weekly, biweekly, or monthly? What about birthdays and other special days? 
4. Include the Grandkids in Your Budget. Allocate funds for your visits, especially if travel is involved.
5. Plan Regular Visits. Consider bringing the grandchildren with you when you travel. Make your visits memorable.
6. Arrange For Them to Visit You. Plan annual “cousin camps” for a week of fun and family time.
7. Send Text Messages. Let your grandchildren know that you are thinking of them and are willing to share your life with them as well.
8. Send them letters, gifts, money—anything that can be mailed. Everyone loves receiving something personal in the mail, and grandchildren are no exception. Send a postcard each week or a puzzle with your or their photo on it. Let your grandkids know what’s going on in your life in 25 words or fewer. Always send a birthday card. My oldest daughter still has an entire shoebox of postcards, letters, and notes that her grandmother mailed to her while she was growing up.
9. Video Chat with Them. Today’s technology makes it possible for you to have face-to-face conversations with your grandchildren on your computer, tablet, or phone. Distance is no longer a valid excuse for a lack of contact. There are many applications that make it possible.^[1]
10. Play Online Games with Them. There are a number of gaming platforms (websites) that make it possible to play games online with other players. If your grandchildren are video game players, they probably know where to find them.

Some long‐distance grandparents have a better relationship with their grandchildren than those who live nearby. Many grandparents take proximity to their grandchildren for granted. But intentional long‐distance grandparents are highly motivated to reach across the miles and stay connected with their grandchildren whenever they can. Grandparents are not spectators. They are the irreplaceable link in the family’s faith relay. Their legacy and influence are vital to a successful handoff of the baton of truth to the next generation of runners. No excuses.

[1] Skype, Google Hangouts, Zoom, Appear.in, FaceTime.