“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good.” — Genesis 50:20a

“It is what it is!”

It’s a common expression we hear all the time. Usually, these words are spoken reluctantly when a situation is far from ideal. When we say it, we are often resigning ourselves to the inevitability of our present circumstances. We can all visualize the scene: a friend tells us about a negative event, sighs, and finishes with, “Well, it is what it is.”

I don’t believe that’s the response God wants us to have. Rather, as followers of Christ, our response should be: “It is what it isn’t!”

To see why, let’s look at the lives of Joseph and Jesus. From a human perspective, both were in dire straits. Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, thrown into a pit, and later forgotten in a jail cell for a crime he didn’t commit. During those dark years, he could have easily resigned himself to his plight and muttered, “It is what it is.”

Jesus was rejected, persecuted, and eventually killed. At any point in that sequence of events, He could have also said, “It is what it is.”

But we know the rest of the story. No one would have called their circumstances “good” at the time, but God had other ideas. He knew that what they were enduring was a vital part of His plan. Having the attitude that it is what it isn’t demonstrates a true belief in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (NIV). What appeared to be happening on the surface was not the full reality. God was at work, even when He seemed silent.

As grandparents who love our grandkids (some joke that we have our own obsession “GDS”—Grandkid Derangement Syndrome!), we often see our kids or grandkids making choices we don’t agree with. We see actions that break our hearts and we might be tempted to reluctantly say, “It is what it is.”

But like Joseph and Jesus, God has a plan for our families. We might feel discouraged or frustrated, but God wants us to trust Him and confidently state: “Because I am a follower of Christ, I know it is what it isn’t!”

We can look forward with hope, knowing God is at work. We have confidence because the Bible is filled with accounts where a difficult situation was transformed into something better—think Job.

We can continue to pray and be the grandparents God called us to be. We can testify to others that with God, things work out for our good and/or the good of others, even when our current view is bleak (Romans 8:28, 2 Corinthians 1:3-6).

Yes, fellow grandparents: whatever is happening in the lives of your kids and grandkids, IT IS WHAT IT ISN’T! Never lose hope. Never quit loving them. Never stop being there for them. Keep praying, and watch God work.