I believe that most people prefer handwritten notes to the messages created by greeting card companies. Therefore, I’ve decided to spend less time this year searching for Mother’s Day cards and more time writing personalized blessings for our three daughters-in-law. (I prefer to think of them as our daughters-in-love.)

Does the idea of writing a Mother’s Day blessing for your daughters or daughters-in-law intrigue you? Are you hesitant because you don’t know where or how to begin? If so, let me explain the purpose, pattern, and key elements of the blessing, plus some basic steps for writing a blessing.

PURPOSE OF THE BLESSING

Everyone remembers the children’s rhyme “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” We remember it because nothing is further from the truth. Words can hurt; in fact, they can curse. The good news is that words can also bless.

God is the source of all blessings. When we write a Mother’s Day blessing to our daughters and daughters-in-law, we are serving as a conduit or pipeline of our Lord’s love, grace, and favor. We communicate their value and purpose as image-bearers of the Creator. We remind them that their value is not in who they are, but WHOSE they are. They are God’s precious children.

PATTERN OF THE BLESSING

The first act of God recorded in Scripture after creating man was to pronounce a blessing:  “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God, he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it…'” (Genesis 1:27-28, ESV).

The pattern of blessing has been a part of life from the beginning.  The Patriarchs employed the spoken blessing, and it was the most sought-after asset that could be passed on from one generation to another. God blessed Abraham and told him he would also be a blessing to the nation. Isaac and Jacob were given the same blessing and they, in turn, gave blessings to their sons and grandsons.  Jesus scolded the disciples for trying to send the children away. Instead, he gathered them to himself and blessed them. He also warned of severe consequences for anyone who failed to welcome (bless) these little ones or hinder them in any way.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PRAYER AND BLESSING

Most people tend to think of blessings as prayers, and while there are similarities, they are really different. Prayers are addressed to God in the form of praise, thanksgiving, confession, and intercession. Conversely, blessings are spoken on God’s behalf for the one being blessed.

KEY ELEMENTS OF THE SPOKEN BLESSING

Authors Gary Smalley and John Trent identified five key elements in their heralded and highly recommended work, The Blessing. We have simplified this list by reducing it to three essential ingredients:

1.     Affirming high value

2.     Picturing a special future

3.     Making an active commitment

AFFIRMING HIGH VALUE:

Your daughters and daughters-in-law have a high value in the eyes of God. They need to know their value is based on who WHOSE they are. When we affirm their value, we let them know that they are precious in the sight of God. They are loved and accepted, and he delights in them. We also let them know how much we love them and appreciate the fact that they are the mothers of our grandchildren.

PICTURING A SPECIAL FUTURE:

Our daughters and daughters-in-law were created by God for a unique and special purpose. Like all of us, they are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for [them] to do (Ephesians 2:10, NIV).  We picture a special future by sharing a character trait or gift from God that we have observed in them. It often helps to give a specific example of how we have seen them demonstrate this trait or gift. Examples include generosity, kindness, intuitiveness, family devotion, loyalty in friendship, godliness, patience, ability to create a loving home environment, and so on. If you do not know where to begin, read Proverbs 31:10-31 (NIV), which emphasizes the characteristics of a godly wife and mother.

MAKING AN ACTIVE COMMITMENT:

It’s important we communicate our commitment to walk alongside our daughters and daughters-in-law in this journey called life. 

STEPS FOR WRITING A BLESSING

1. Pray first. Ask the Lord what he wants you to write.
2. Choose a Scripture verse for the recipient of this blessing.
3. Write one or two sentences pertaining to this verse. Instead of using the phrase “I believe that…,” use the word “may.” (See example below.)
4. Include one or two additional sentences specific to your daughter or daughter-in-law.

Remember that the blessing doesn’t have to be lengthy.

EXAMPLE OF A BLESSING FOR A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW

_________________________________________ (daughters-in-law name), we are so thankful to have you as our daughter-in-law. You are a loving and devoted wife and mother who willingly sacrifices for your family. You are a beautiful homemaker, as well. Truly, you are a Proverbs 31 woman.

May God continue to grant you wisdom as you make decisions for your family and look to the ways of your household, especially as our grandchildren enter their teenage years. May you be clothed in strength and dignity as you juggle career, home, and family. May your children rise up and call you blessed, and may your husband thank God for his loving and excellent wife. (Proverbs 31:25-28, paraphrased)

May you know always that our Lord “rejoices over you with gladness, quiets you by his love, and exults over you with loud singing” (Zephaniah 3:17, paraphrased) even on those sleepless nights when you are tending a sick child or frantically hemming a dance costume.

We hope you know that we are always here for you.

For more information about cultivating a culture of blessing within your family, Christian Grandparenting Network highly recommends The Blessing by Gary Smalley and John Trent.