Do you like being described as gentle? Most people would likely prefer to have other adjectives attached to them. Gentleness is part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). With a negative connotation in today’s often harsh world, it may be the least popular and most misunderstood in the list of spiritual characteristics.  The other eight fruit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control) are usually admired and emulated by the general population. But rarely do people seek gentleness as a descriptor. It is equated with weakness, frailty, or powerlessness. Is this how the Bible defines gentleness?

Biblical Gentleness

The Greek word for gentleness, “prautes”, means “gentle strength.” In other words, it is not a lack of strength or ability. Rather, it is the godly exercise of power. It has been said that it takes great strength to live out gentleness. It is not weakness, timidity, or being a silent doormat. Nor is gentleness a relational style or particular personality trait as everyone is told to pursue it (I Timothy 6:11). 

Throughout the New Testament, gentle is linked with words like humility, patience, peaceable, reasonable, merciful, and compassionate. A vivid picture of what gentleness can produce is found in Deuteronomy 32:2 where “gentle rain” falls on new grass and tender plants. This is what gardeners and farmers pray for! We experienced several days of extremely heavy rain and severe storms. It left downed branches and trees in the yard and, sadly, flattened our lovely perennial flower gardens. This was definitely not the kind of gentle rain that gives life; it was violent, harmful, and destructive. Likewise, the spiritual fruit of gentleness will be life-giving and not harmful.

The Gentleness of Jesus Christ

In Matthew 11:28-29, Jesus describes Himself as “meek and gentle in Spirit” and “gentle and humble in heart” who gives rest for our souls. Even when He was arrested, beaten, abused, and killed, He refused to respond with the same hostility. He personified the goal of gentleness: the willingness to forego power for the benefit of another. Although He retained the ability to use divine power, He chose to set that aside in order to offer forgiveness of our sin and a restored eternal relationship with God. Truly this was the perfect example of strength under control as He suffered on behalf of those He loved. There are many examples of Jesus responding gently with others during His three years on earth (i.e., the woman caught in adultery, the lame man, the men with leprosy, children interrupting His interaction with the crowds, the thief on the cross). Jesus is often called the Great Shepherd as He is described in Isaiah 40:11, “He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.” He is a safe harbor of gentle love in a hostile world.

How God’s People Can Be Gentle

Gentleness is deeply Christian. Our human tendencies are to speak harsh and unkind words, to be impatient and angry, or to push to get our own way. But as we walk with Jesus and surrender to the Holy Spirit’s control, we can imitate our Savior by displaying gentleness. A “gentle and quiet spirit” is beautiful and “precious to God” (I Peter 3:4). We can give gentle answers in response to anger (Proverbs 15:1), gently instruct opponents (2 Timothy 2:25), restore gently fellow Christians who have fallen away (Galatians 6:1), and “deal gently with the ignorant and misguided” (Hebrews 5:2). We can, as Paul describes in I Thessalonians 2:1-8, “be gentle as a nursing mother tenderly caring for her own children” when evangelizing, discipling, or leading others. When we are not provoked easily by an enemy, an oppressor, or a difficult family member, we are gentle. When we don’t envy or retaliate if attacked, we are gentle. When we are patient in adversity or show joy under difficult circumstances, we are gentle. When we are gracious and fair to others, we are gentle. When we trust God to direct the outcome of events, we are gentle.

There are times when examining the opposite of a trait is helpful to acquire a deeper understanding of that trait. Some adjectives that describe what gentleness is not include: egotistical, arrogant, aggressive, prideful, contentious, pushy, inflexible, irritable, timid, insensitive, quarrelsome, and envious. An important clarification needs to be made: gentleness is not the opposite of boldness. Christians exercising the fruit of gentleness are not to be quiet about injustice or abuse; on the contrary, they speak up for the downtrodden and oppressed (just as Jesus did). This is often termed Christian assertiveness: treating others with kindness, care, and respect while keeping God’s purposes as the guiding motivation.

Questions for Prayerful Self-Evaluation

• Would those who know you say you are gentle?
• Do you treat others with tenderness (as a nursing mother)?
• Do you tend to speak harshly or with unkind words when you don’t get your way?
• Are you open to graciously receiving correction or criticism? Or do others feel worried about stirring up your anger? Do you respond with gentleness when confronted by others?
• Are you patient in difficult situations? Do you show a joyful trust in God even in trying circumstances?
• Are you able to set aside your personal power (of position, age, finances, education) to benefit another?

Prayer

 Lord, please search our hearts, bringing realization of ways we aren’t exhibiting gentleness. Help us guard our speech that we may have words filled with gentleness that are life-giving and God-honoring. Help us respond with gentleness even in trying circumstances. Soften our hearts and show us how to be filled with the spiritual fruit of gentleness in all our ways. Make us more like Jesus our Savior that we may respond with the same gentleness which He shows to us. Amen.

Philippians 4:5 (NIV) – “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”

Note: All Scripture references are the English Standard Version, unless otherwise noted..