The birds outside my window keep jockeying for position on the tubular feeder that has room for two or three at a time to tug seeds through the fine mesh housing. Often, there are more than that many waiting in the branches for their turn to dine. Lots of squabbles take place in the waiting line. They last for a few minutes before the birds fly away leaving the feeder empty. The most patient of the birds, who wait for those opportune moments, get rewarded with the chance to eat in peace. Patience has its rewards.

I understand the need for patience because it’s one that I wrestle with on a regular basis. I sometimes wait impatiently at stoplights when I’m running late for a meeting. I sometimes wait impatiently for my dinner to arrive at a restaurant when my stomach is growling. And I sometimes wait impatiently for the checkout line at a grocery store to open in the midst of my long list of errands. I am reminded:

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (Romans 12:12 NIV).

Perhaps, the biggest challenge to my patience is waiting as my teenage grandchild works – sometimes struggles – to overcome developmental hurdles. It’s difficult because my natural inclination is to swoop down and fix the problem the same way I did for him as a toddler. Things are different. Now that he’s dealing with rapid-fire hormones, his problems are more cerebral than physical. 

It helps to draw on my own recollections of life as a teen, to recall the kinds of interactions with adults that were most helpful to me and those that hindered my growth. I’m learning to be patient, allowing God’s grace to intervene. My desire is to lovingly guide my grandson to make wise choices.

Truly, our grandchildren are growing up in a world that feels far more insidious than what my generation faced. My grandson and I sometimes hold in-depth conversations on topics that cut to the core of modern-day burdens. It is during those moments when he shares his deepest concerns that I silently cry out some of my most fervent prayers. 

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2 NIV).

Listening without judgment or criticism gives teens confidence that we are safe people with whom to share their emotions. At times, the Lord reminds me to keep my mouth shut and listen to get a full understanding of the need my grandson is expressing. It’s a good habit to develop. I’m getting better at it.

Sometimes God reminds me of experiences from my past that mirror the types of questions my grandson asks. Despite the reality that the world is different from my experiences at his age, human nature has not changed. We have all been created in the image of God as complex physical, spiritual, and emotional beings. 

Unlike Jesus, each of us goes through life in a state of imperfection: the result of Adam’s sin. As someone who has traveled through many decades, I am beginning to appreciate the degree of patience God has shown to me. He is still patiently guiding my steps toward a more Christ-like state of being. 

Our need for a Savior has eternal ramifications. 

The ultimate goal for Christian grandparents is to live for eternity with our loved ones in the presence of our Lord. Not one of us is capable of achieving this outcome on our own merit, however, we can demonstrate our ongoing dependence on God to our grandchildren through our patience. This is one way the virtue of patience works for the good of all.

“Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long” (Psalm 25:5 NIV).