In the month of November, the word “thankfulness” is frequently bandied about. Indeed, it is a very important character trait. More than that, thankfulness is not simply an option for Christians; it is a duty and command of God. In I Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV), Christians are instructed to “give thanks in all circumstances.” Research has revealed that the benefits of gratitude include fewer doctor visits, better sleep, greater happiness, more positive relationships, and less stress. Aren’t these gifts all grandparents would be thrilled to give to their grandchildren?

Our culture is very me-centered and entitled. Our grandchildren are bombarded by advertisements encouraging instant gratification and discontentment. While there is nothing wrong with admitting to having longings or desires, grandparents can contribute to the development of a contented and grateful heart in their grandchildren in the following ways.

1. Begin with a personal heart-check. Do I model contentment or patience with my own desires? As with many character attributes, modeling is more impactful than explanation. A grandparent who grumbles about what they want but do not have cannot expect a different response in their grandchildren. Rather, grandparents can randomly say thank-you for finding a good parking space or for the beautiful weather today. Saying “thank-you for sharing that toy with your brother,” or “I’m so thankful we got to spend time together today” models grateful behavior. Looking for moments of joy during times together exercises our “thankful muscles” and grandchildren will notice.

2. Resist making your grandchild’s “dreams” come true instantly. This is a common temptation for grandparents. There is wisdom in checking with the parents before making purchases or gifts, especially on big ticket items. Keep in mind Luke 12:15 (NIV) warns to “be on your guard against all kinds of greed”. Grandparents can assist parents in keeping children’s expectations in a healthy balance.

3. Encourage grandchildren to express thanks regularly, both to God and to others. Traditionally, mealtime or bedtime prayers include verbal thanksgiving to God. Make a “thankful list” together to hang on your refrigerator (younger children could use pictures or stickers while older ones can illustrate with drawings). When young  grandchildren are at grandparents’ homes, help them make cards, pictures, or small gifts for parents, siblings, teachers, or friends. (This requires keeping simple supplies such as crayons, markers, construction paper, staplers, etc., on hand.) Offer older grandchildren cute thank you cards to use as they write a note of gratitude.
   
4. Look for books that have characters expressing gratitude to read together. During playtimes together, thank them for sharing toys or play food with you. (My youngest granddaughter enjoys serving me a platter of toy food, and I thank her profusely for each “meal” she prepares for me!). Say thank you to them and remind them to say it, too. I have written thank you notes to older grandchildren who have assisted me with extra chores or yardwork to let them know I’m grateful for their good help.

It is not necessary to start big “new” things to plant seeds of gratitude in a child’s heart. Grandparents incorporate a little thankfulness into existing routines when they say a quick “I’m grateful for you” while assisting with a jacket, shoes, or a car seatbelt. There are many healthy outcomes related to gratitude and contentment. After all, gratitude is simply acknowledging that we have received a gift and our grandchildren are wonderful gifts from God! There is always a time and season to be thankful.