“My dad was never there.” “My dad was abusive, angry and critical.” “My dad was an alcoholic and addicted to porn.” “My dad loved his work more than his family.”

Perhaps you’ve heard statements like these. Some may describe your father… or perhaps one or more describe you. Why would I bring up such dark and depressing things on Father’s Day? Because dads matter, and it’s important that you understand how much you matter as a dad or granddad. More than 75% of all men in our prison system come from fatherless homes. Many more young men live in the equivalent of a fatherless home because Dad is passive and uninvolved. He provides little evidence to his sons of what it means to be a real man.

But, it’s not all bad news.

As my good friend, Craig Glass, founder of Peregrine Ministries, is fond of saying, “Men have a disproportionate impact on their sons and daughters—for good and for evil.” I love hearing the positive impact side of men who matter. I never tire of the stories of sons and daughters positively impacted by dads who believe they do matter, and who make sure they do. These are men committed to blessing their families and preparing their sons and daughters to be all God designed them to be. Here are some examples of statements I’ve heard from sons and daughters of dads whose disproportionate impact matters in a good way.

• My dad is my hero and example. I want to be like him.
• My dad isn’t perfect, but neither is he afraid to admit it. What I admire most in him is his humility and willingness to say, ‘I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?’
• My dad has always been a busy man, but I always know he will be there for me when I need him. I know I am more important than his work.
• Because of the way I feel loved and valued by my dad, I want to love others the same way.
• I want the man I marry to be a man like my dad.

I just attended a Passages to Manhood retreat with my grandson and his father led by Craig Glass. It was a powerful reminder of the importance of dads in the lives of their sons (and daughters). We were challenged by superb biblical teaching; we faced some daunting challenges; we discovered good and harmful realities about ourselves and our family history. During the final blessing ceremony there was much weeping as fathers confessed their sins, many passed from several previous generations, and pledged to their sons to trust God to be the generation that would break these generational chains. We experienced first-hand the extraordinary power of a father to positively impact the life of his son. Dads do matter.

This Father’s Day my prayer is that dads and granddads reading this blog will choose to man up and live like a man of God. It’s nice to be honored by our families on Fathers Day. Yet, the only honor that really matters is the honor freely expressed by our children when they say of us, “My dad is the kind of man I want to be,” or “My dad is the kind of man I want to marry someday.” That’s a badge of honor due a dad who really matters!

May you be a dad or granddad who matters in a way that really matters for the sake of your children and children’s children.

GRANDPAUSE: Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; act like men; be strong; do everything in love. (I Corinthians 16:13-14)