A Guide to Great Grandparenting (Revised Edition)
A Guide to Great Grandparenting (Revised Edition) by Paul & Diana Miller
A grandparent might ask, “Who needs a book on grandparenting?” because it seems so simple. First, you do only fun things with the grandchildren, give them lots of candy and gifts, let them break all their parents’ rules, and then send them home sugared up and spoiled rotten!
If you feel like this, Paul and Diana Miller have some new good ideas for you in this enhanced edition of their faith-based book, A Guide to Great Grandparenting. This book is unique because it explains to grandparents that they will have their greatest positive effect on their grandchildren only when they have a mature adult-to-adult relationship with their adult children.
Specifically, Paul and Diana will help you understand that you, as grandparents, will have a profound effect (for good or bad) on your grandchildren’s future. In addition, your decisions will make the parents’ job easier or much harder.
The Millers’ key concept is the “Family Trinity” framework for building and keeping healthy and enjoyable relationships between all three generations. The Trinity shows that the parents are totally responsible for not merely providing for their children but also teaching them essential values and tools for becoming productive and fulfilled adults. It also shows that grandparents are responsible for helping the parents raise their children without getting in their way.
To gain these benefits, the book explains why grandparents must first release the parents to be fully independent adults and then coach them without expecting full compliance. Further, it explains why grandparents should be good models for the grandchildren and otherwise reinforce the lessons and skills their parents are teaching them.
The book is filled with stories based on the Millers’ interviews with many families as well as their personal experiences as grandparents of ten grandchildren and long-time professional educators and Bible teachers for children and senior adults. They describe with great clarity what spoiling is, why it occurs, and why grandparents should not engage in it. They also discuss the beauty of “gracious” gift-giving that primarily benefits the recipients as compared to “lavish” gift-giving that primarily benefits the givers. They also advise grandparents on what they can do to become “gracious givers.”
Paul and Diana have also produced a companion volume in the “Family Trinity Series” for parents of grandchildren to help them harvest the grandparents’ wisdom while establishing boundaries to prevent interference. It’s called A Parents’ Guide to Great Grand-Partnering and is also available through the CGN store.